


“Oh, bloody hell”

by elizainlove



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Hot, Humor, M/M, Multi, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 22:12:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2444987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elizainlove/pseuds/elizainlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas and the new maid, Lara, have become good enough  friends- he thought they had an understanding- but apparently not.<br/>Jimmy is left to try and awkwardly explain why Thomas is rebuffing her advances but Lara doesn't seem to understand. So Thomas decides the only way for her to believe them is to show her. </p>
<p>Comedy with a bit of lust thrown in for good measure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	“Oh, bloody hell”

“No, really. I am in love with someone else” Thomas said imploringly willing her to understand without him having to actually say it  
“Oh hush. I never picked you as a shy one” Lara reached up and took her long auburn hair out of its bun and twirled it flirtatiously around her finger.  
It was true he had been talking to the new (and very boisterous maid) a lot since she had joined, even taken her out a few time, but that had only been to suss her out- Thomas had thought she understood the situation, thought she understood what he was about. Apparently not and he never could have imagined his flirting would have caused a reaction like this.  
“No, no, really.” Thomas backed away from Lara a few passes as she advanced.  
This was when Jimmy appeared in the doorway to Thomas room and smirked, slipping in and closing the door behind him lest Mr Carson appear in the hall “Eye, eye” He grinned at the scene that lay before him “What’s going on in here then” he grinned at Thomas gave him a ‘bloody well help me’ look and Jimmy had to supress a laugh  
“I can assure you this is about to be a situation that Thomas wouldn’t want to be in with you, Jimmy” Lara said sourly, eyeing Jimmy with dislike. It was meant as a snipe about how close Jimmy and Thomas were but under the circumstances Jimmy couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the irony as Thomas went bright red and look at the ceiling “What’s so bloody funny?” she snapped “I am sure you can use your imagination” She walked over to stand right next to Thomas and glared at Jimmy “It’s an intimate situation that requires a man and a women”  
“Oh, bloody hell” Thomas muttered and took yet another few steps away from the maid  
Jimmy couldn’t help but stir. He feigned confusion and said “An intimate situation that Thomas would proffer a woman over me? Really can’t imagine what that could be. That would be something new”  
“Really, Jimmy?” Thomas looked incredibly embarrassed now and he turned to bang his twice head against the wall  
Lara looked confused more than angry now and was about to say something when Jimmy spoke first, deciding to put his friend out his misery “Thomas is my best mate, and for this I will be honest for him- how well do you know him?”  
“Thomas is a man of mystery. That’s what I like about him” Lara set her jaw against Jimmy, arms folded  
“yeah…uh...Lord, how do I phrase this? Uh- Thomas is more of a man’s a man’s man than a ladies man- if you get me” Jimmy tried, imploring her to understand as even he was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable now  
There was a seconds silence where both Thomas and Jimmy gritted their teeth before-“What? I don’t understand”  
Thomas groaned and Jimmy grimaced “Think about it-” he started but Thomas cut it loudly  
“I’m bloody queer, aren’t I?” He turned to look at her, a mixture of exasperation and determination on his face.  
Silence filled the room.  
Lara looked between Jimmy and Thomas and he could see her coming to a wrong, and very unwanted conclusion but before Jimmy could say anything she turned to look at Thomas  
“You expect me to believe you butt fuck” She pointed dramatically at Jimmy “With him”  
“No!” Jimmy held up both hands “No, not with me!”  
Thomas winced at Lara’s crude phrasing “I wouldn’t put it like that- but yes” at Jimmy’s panicked look he only shrugged and gave him an apologetic look  
“You must think I’m so thick! There is no way your queer” Lara demanded of Thomas “Him, maybe” she nodded at Jimmy “But not you!”  
Thomas grinned “We all make that mistake about Jimmy”  
“Hey shut the fuck up. I am so not lav-” Jimmy began but Lara waved him down and spoke over him  
“You said you were in love with someone” She said it as if she had won the argument “Who else is supposedly a fruit, then?”  
Thomas stood, struggling with something for a second.  
“Exactly. If you’re a fairy who’s your love. Next time just…just…what are you doing…?”  
Thomas had begun to walk slowly over to Jimmy who in turn stood more upright and fidgeted “Thomas, you’re my mate and all…” He trailed off when the taller man stopped. He was so close to Jimmy he was as he could breath- Jimmy felt himself go lightheaded  
“Sorry, Jimmy” Thomas looked truly apologetic “She doesn’t believe me”  
“What-?” But he thought he knew  
Then Thomas kissed him. He’d been expecting to feel disgusted. He wanted to feel disgusted. But he couldn’t. He wasn’t even fooling himself anymore- so Jimmy kissed back, feeling jolts of electricity course through his body.  
Thomas hadn’t expected Jimmy’s lips to react- in fact he had expected the other man to pull away in horror and say their friendship was over and that he could never trust Thomas ever again. But this option was so much better. So, so much better. Thomas could feel Jimmy opening up his own mouth with his lips and he moaned softly as their tongues met for the first time.  
To say he was shocked when Jimmy backed him into the wall and rubbed his body against Thomas’ own and ran his hands through his hair was an understatement. He was sure that if he hadn’t been quite so caught up in the moment he would have frozen in shock- as it was his body reacted instinctively and he pulled Jimmy up against him even more, moving his hips so their erections (when had that happened?) ground together.  
The noises Jimmy was making were intoxicating and Thomas decided he wanted to hear the whimper he made when he flipped them to pin Jimmy to the wall every day for the rest of his life. Not to mention feel the desperate hands and increased heavy breathing when he lifted the man off his feet and grabbed his arse as Jimmy took initiative and wrapped his legs around Thomas’ waist. Thomas wasn’t even going to think about how he would be effected if Jimmy allowed him to strip away his shirt and kiss his collar bone every night.  
Lara stood frozen. The men had clearly not spared a thought for her since the moment their lips had met- but she wasn’t complaining. She had, only just come to the realisation of what was about to happen, with or without her in the room and she decided on reflection it would be best to leave them too it “Uh” She said. Neither of her colleagues reacted but continued to strip one another “don’t worry Thomas, this should do me for a while” and she opened the door carefully and left. Bloody hell though- sin or no sin, she wasn’t ever going to confess to witnessing that. 

The following morning Lara around herself flushing as Thomas approached her “Have you spoken to Mrs Hughes about last night?” he whispered to her  
“No, why?”  
“Only Jimmy and I have just had a talking to about being more subtle- you can’t go telling people you know”  
“I know that!” she whispered back quickly “Maybe Jimmy’s limp has something to do with it?” Lara nodded to him as he came round the corner  
“What?” Jimmy stopped and looked suspiciously at the two standing a few feet away  
“Stop limping” Thomas grinned  
This made Jimmy glare even more and he did his best to lessen his limp as he approached them, his face ablaze “This is hardly bloody my fault is it?” He hissed “Stop smirking” He punched Thomas on the arm  
“Owww” Thomas tried to stop himself from smiling stupidly “That was a bit hard”  
“I bet that’s what he said last night” Lara quipped without thinking  
There other two stared at her for a moment, mouths open in shock. Then Thomas started laughing and Jimmy scowled  
“I knew I befriended you for a reason!” Thomas chuckled  
“Yeah well it certainly wasn’t for her body” Jimmy pouted sulkily and it was Lara’s turn to blush  
“Swords away ladies- I can’t help it if I’m irresistible” he brushed some invisible dust off his shoulder “OOOUUCHHH” Thomas complained again as both Lara and Jimmy whacked his arms  
Mrs Hughes sighed- subtlety was definitely a virtue neither James nor Thomas possessed. It was all in their eyes. And Jimmy’s limp.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed my little one off brain spew :)


End file.
